Self-Soothing Behaviors In Adulthood- Dr. Holly's Insight
Self-Soothe
Self-Soothing Behaviors In Adulthood
Growing up, you may have discovered ways to make yourself feel better when you had been hurt or felt bad. Some examples of self-soothing include playing with your dog, favorite doll or toy truck.
There are healthy ways you can self-soothe as an adult.
As an adult, it's easy to forget how to self-soothe in a healthy way when feeling uncomfortable, upset, anxious, or irritated. A lot of times, unhealthy self-soothing techniques are the quickest and easiest way to feel better, however, it doesn't last long.
Unhealthy Self-Soothing
Some examples of unhealthy self-soothing behaviors in adults include:
Excessive use of alcohol or using illicit substances: This can lead to addiction or death.
Excessive eating: This can lead to weight gain and poor health.
Self-Harm: This can include cutting, burning, or hitting yourself and can leave permanent scars, possible infection, pain and embarrassment.
Healthy Self-Soothing for Adults
There are healthy ways you can self-soothe as an adult. Try any of these 10 self-soothing techniques to feel better about yourself or any situation.
Relaxation exercises – download a relaxation app and listen to relaxing sounds from nature (waterfalls, bird calls, whales, etc.) or take a walk.
Play – find time to play an old-school board game (Monopoly, Clue or Scrabble), charades, hangman, romp around in the grass with a dog or flag football with friends. You can also play tag, hide and seek or blow bubbles.
Be present in the moment – this is known as mindfulness. Try to not focus on the future or the past in order to fully experience the present. For example, engage 3 of your senses by taking a long and close look at a flower, touching and smelling it.
Learn – are you interested in learning something new, but never explored it? Look for ways you can make this happen. Or, you may want to look at something in a new way such as reading a poem or scripture to find new meaning in it. Watch a TED talk about something you know nothing about.
Finish the little things – accomplishing even the smallest thing usually helps you feel better. If you have been putting off easy things you have been meaning to do for a while (cleaning out a drawer, dusting a bookcase, sending someone a thank you note). Do it!
Spiritual resources – prayer, meditation or reading affirmations, etc. Whatever feels right to you, try it and keep in mind, spiritual work does not necessarily occur within the bounds of organized religion.
Be creative – make a sculpture, paint or draw. It does not matter if you have never done any of these things. Shifting your focus on one of these tasks can make you feel better.
Go to any kind of museum – pick a piece to observe, stare at it, and let it spark a story.
Write – journal about 5 things that make you smile or write a 5-line poem about your favorite song, food or a funny memory.
Try a new food – pick a fruit, veggie or dessert you never tried before and do this once a week.
…unhealthy self-soothing techniques are the quickest and easiest way to feel better, however it doesn't last long.
In Closing
Each day you can help yourself feel better by doing many good things that don't involve self-harm, overeating, or excessive use of alcohol or illicit substances. Do something fun, creative, uplifting, interesting, and exciting to self-soothe.
Written By: Dr. Holly Sawyer
About the Author
Dr. Holly Sawyer is a licensed therapist, certified addiction counselor specialist, mental health public speaker and self-published author of It's Time to Talk About Trauma and Get Your Mind Right, Get Your Money Right: The Mental Health Guide for Successful Entrepreneurs." She is the CEO of her solo private practice, Life First Therapy where she provides psychotherapy to professional black women helping them navigate their life and career without using substances to cope with depression and/or anxiety when experiencing microaggressions in the workplace. She is also the CEO of the Therapy Loft Collective, an online group private practice
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